Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Are you there vodka? It's me Andrea

OMG. You have got to read the book "Are you there vodka? It's me Chelsea" by Chelsea Handler. Aren't book titles supposed to be underlined? I can't find the underline button. Either way, find this book at your local library or stimulate the economy and buy it. If you enjoy reading my blog-the whole 3 1/2 people who do, then you need to get this book. Story of my life! Except for the whole stand up comedian thing. She also has written another booked called "My horizontal life: a collection of one night stands" I also have on hold at the local library (I'm cheap! And I don't like buying books) I can't wait to read that. Now on to my weekend.....

What started off as a 3 hour nap on Friday....oops! I made my way down to Chicago to visit my friend Aimee who I have known since 2nd grade. That's a whole lotta years of knowing someone. Aimee wasn't done with work till 10pm, so it was just me and her husband drinking beer-Leinenkugel's Fireside Nut Brown and chilliing on the couch watching Family Guy. Not to shabby for a Friday night. Aimee came home and we hung out watching tv for a bit and then it was off to bed because I was the lucky one taking her dance class the next morning.

While trying to fall asleep, The Marine text me w/ the standard "what are you up to?" Since I was actually awake and coherent I text back. We chatted for almost an hour of nonsense texting. I was getting annoyed at this point, it was almost 3am and he still hadn't called me. I text him back saying "If you want to talk call me. I'm done texting" I waited a good 15-20min and there was no call. So I said fk it and turned off my phone cuz I was getting tired. I awoke the next day ready for an exciting day of Core Rythms dance class I got to take. I turned my phone on and there was a voicemail and a text message from The Marine. The text came at 3:30am saying "You tell me to call you and then you turn off your phone. thanks" the voice mail was of him hanging up the phone. While most of your are thinking "WTG Andrea, way to get back at him for all the crap he has done to you" I actually felt bad. Why on earth do I feel bad for turning my phone off for The Marine? Sigh. I text back "My phone died while waiting for you to call me" Why no, my phone didn't die, but I did wait. So there I sat feeling guilty. This guy sure knows how to make a girl feel guilty. Stupid stupid boys. Aimee told me not to feel guilty, and I shouldn't feel guilty damnit! He has done this kind of thing to me ALL THE FREAKING TIME! I have tried putting it int he back of my mind now.

After the fantastic Core Rythms class-hey news flash! I have no rythm! Aimee and I made our way out to the outlet mall for some much needed retail therapy session. Trying on a gazillion clothing items is fun, cept for noticing how white your skin is. I could be albino at this point folks.

Hours of shopping and eating some sushi for dinner, we went back to her house and got ready for a night out for her friend Cathy's birthday. Dressing to impress as always, we made out way out in Chicago. Now I ask you this, out of all the bars in Chicago, how the heck did Aimee and I end up at the same place that a guy who went to our high school with? We both didn't know the guy, but recognized him. Still...how does this happen? Anyways, I started off drinking Blue Moon beer, two of those babies down and I was feeling great. I then out of stupidity changed it up to vodka cranberries. Ohhhh yeah, I'm a moron. I haven't had much hard liquor lately since it normally leaves me feeling like crud. But I was apparently in the mood for some and figured I might as well kill my UTI in the mean time. Kiddin! I don't have a UTI.

2 beers and 4 vodka cranberries later (I swear they didn't put any vodka in them, all I tasted was juice) I was feeling GREAT! I was out on the dance floor doing my best dancing ever. Now this kind of dancing I can do, Core Rythms, yeah not so much. I got the courage to go up to a random guy and make fun of his Chicago Bears hat. Being a Green Bay Packer fan, it's a must. Soon as I started talking to this douche, I quickly realized he was a douche. I then walked away. Even his voice was douchey and annoying. I then somehow started dancing w/ this one guy in a funky sweater. He was cute, but after we were done dancing we walked away from each other. Story of my life apparently. Chicago had plenty of men to offer me, but to my luck as always, there was no makeout or going home with-probably a good thing seeing as I wouldn't know how to find my way home.

We left the bar and were driving (we had a sober driver, no worries) It was me, Aimee, Henry and her friend Chuck. Aimee isn't the real hard core drinker like I am. While I'm telling this story as accuretly as I can I don't want to leave out any important facts. She was in the front seat when she proclaims she has to puke. So there we are going down I-90 in Chicago w/ Aimee puking out the window. It was a site I have waited for my whole life-probably since 2nd grade. I had the great buzz going that I thought it was hilarious she was puking. Great friend I am huh?

On the ride home I managed to drunk dial The Marine-he didn't pick up-shocker! Ray-didn't pick up either and Rod who again didn't pick up, but did text me asking what was up. Wow, 3 for 3 and no one was picking up. I feel like a loser now.

Sunday we went and got a massage, but we were both hung over like no other. I drove home that afternoon, well I guess not home really. I went to a concert. Guess what? Concerts and hang overs and 4 hours of sleep aren't a good idea. And it was a hard rock show too. Had I not been in the condition I was and had good mosh pit shoes (ballet flats are a big no no) I think I have a bruise on my shoulder from being beat Sunday night.

The concert was amazing, I went w/ my friend Louise. Apprently anytime Louise and I hang out in Madison, we are bound to see a guy I went out with or made out w/. And low behold, there was DL, a guy I had went out two dates w/ and then he disappeared. Again, story of my life.

That is the weekend wrap up. This coming weekend I am going back down to Chicago for my boyfriend Keith Urban's concert. Saturday morning I have a 20 mile run, then I'm heading up for another one of Keith's shows in Green Bay. Highly doubtful I will meet any boys there. The only guys that go to his shows are the ones who are drug by their girlfriends.

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